WhAt It MeAnS tO lOvE
by xAxelx
Summary: Set in the medieval period, this story follows the life of a boy named Gamzee Makara. Gamzee wanders into the forest alone late one night, dead set on getting away from his abusive father. When he is confronted by the offer of revenge, he can't refuse. Gamzee gets his revenge, but with an ugly price. Future PB&J, rated T for scariness, I guess.
1. Chapter 1

This is an AU fic, and it is mainly humanstuck, but Gamzee is a monster and Tavros isn't crippled. Yes, this is GamTav, and it is purely fluff. I, personally, do not think this pairing is capeable of smut, so I will not blaspheme the pairing. Don't like shounen-ai/yaoi? GETAHFUCKOUTRIGHTNAO! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Homestuck or the characters. And that's actually kinda a good thing for every other homestuck fan, albeit sad for me. The only thing I own is the plot of this little fanfic.

WARNING: This is sooo purely fluff! Don't like fluff? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? And watch out. You may fansquee, squeal, fangirl/boy, and get emotionally detached from the freaking boring real world out there. Remember, I am not resposible in any way, shape, or form for any injuries inflicted during reading this.

HAVE FUN READING, MY BABY OTAKUS! 3

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BTW: i think since this story is set in old London, it deserves a good British accent and should be read as such. Just saying. I mean, you don't have to, but I would appreciate it.

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Do everything as instructed and shut the hell up.

If you speak, you will get killed. If you misbehave you will get killed. No questions asked, no second chances.

This was the first thing Gamzee learned when he was stuffed into that grimey cage, the first thing that was crammed into his brain. And it was the only rules or boundaries that he had ever known. He was a beast designed for killing, and that was his sole purpose. The Dark Brotherhood had kept him for that reason, or he might have been killed years ago. And it all started the night that Gamzee Makara almost died.

He was walking along the road after a fight with his father, a rage boiling inside him like molten magma itself. His abusive father had disowned him after catching him snogging one of the servants and thrown him out onto the streets like an urchin. He had only been thirteen. He scoffed at the thought of it, his father reacting so harshly, abandoning a boy of just thirteen.

He had stormed out of the house, barely refraining from hitting his drunkard of a father as his father had done to him many a time. Wandering the streets, Gamzee Makara had no plan of where to stay or how he might live on his own. But really, out of his misfortune, that wouldn't be a problem.

As he wandered, he found himself growing closer and closer to the forests bordering the outskirts of his hometown, the rage within him boiling and festering all the while. Without realizing where he was heading, he found himself having a long, hard stare-down with the darkness looming just within the treeline.

He had heard warnings about that place. Evil, dark things were supposed to lurk and thrive within it. And Gamzee was no fool. He knew of these happenings, the dissappearances of people that had gone too deep into the forest. Gamzee very well knew the consequences of venturing any further. He understood that he would never return.

Gamzee paused, considering this a moment. The forest was a place full of hazardous adventures, rougeish villains, stalking beasts, and lurking shadows. The darkness that it withheld within itself was so much worse than what Gamzee could have imagined.

Letting his anger make the decision for him, he took a shaking, fearful breath before throwing himself headfirst into the danger.

And he was almost relieved at first, the darkness not seeming that bad once he had adjusted to it. He gazed up, the moonlight was spackled against his face like splattered paint as it filtered through the leaves hanging from the trees. His first true glimpse of freedom, the moon. It hung high in the nighttime sky, seeming to be a perfectly round egg perched in it's mother's nest. He allowed his fear to slip away as he grinned, listening to the music of the wind as it rattled and shook the tree's branches gently.

The forest didn't seem to be a place to be feared anymore, he decided. He ventured on, smiling at sleeping animals he may have passed and feeling the rough bark of summer oaks as he went by. The whole forest seemed to be lit with the flame of pure magic, an enticing electricity running through Gamzee as he neared the center of the forest. The strange energy seemed to hum in his ears, flowing just beneath his skin in warm, soft waves. It washed over him in a sort of comforting carress, calming and numbing his angered nerves. He was so relaxed when he stumbled upon a wide open clearing, a table of marble seeming so out of place as it balanced upon a stone slab placed in the middle of the clearing.

Curiosity filled him as he carefully picked his way over to the table. The whole forest was suddenly so deathly silent as he reached it, making his ears ring. He observed the detailed and intricate carvings engrained into the table. Squinting to try and concentrate his focus, he brushed his fingertips against the writings around the edge of the table, seeming to be words in some mysterious, ancient language.

''_Gamzeeee Maaakaaraaaaaaa._'' a voice breathed, seeming to speak from just behind Gamzee. It struck fear deep within his heart, sending a cold tremor through his body as the whispered name sent barely audible echoes into the night. ''_Weeee knoooww what you seeeek_.'' was it's response, resounding softly in the air as a chilly breeze picked up. "Well, what would you think I sought after, then?" he asked in a barely trembling voice, not concealing his fear one bit.

''_You want... reeveeeennngggee._'' it seemed to swim about the air, almost swirling with the wind. That line had caught Gamzee off guard, leaving him with wide eyes. ''You want reveenngeee against your faaaatheeer.'' it continued, swimming around like sea serpents in Gamzee's ears.

Gamzee concidered this, his anger from earlier returning a bit. What if he did get his revenge on his father? How could he possibly make his father feel all the pain Gamzee had been put through in all his years? What revenge could possibly be right?

Sensing his hesitation, the voice returned to haunt Gamzee's ears. ''_Think of aaall those years, just traaaped. He held you baaack, Gaamzeeee. Hoow loonng haaas he beeen huuurting you, Gaamzeee? Why woould yoou have to suffeeerr? You caann maake him feeel the paaiiinn you felt, you can make him undeerrstaaand it_.''

Gamzee felt the rage begin to bubble up from under his cold facade, letting it get the best of him once again. "What am I supposed to do, then?" he called out, turning to face whatever spector he had been conversing with. "_Give us permission. We can maaake you coompleete, Gaamzeeee._" it instructed, seeming more powerful, more loud than last time.

"I give you permission. Now let me have my revenge!" Gamzee shouted out, his patience growing thinner.

His words were barely there, just barely out of his mouth, when he had been attacked. There was no physical being or form that could hurt him, but every last inch of him burned as if he was on fire. It felt as though someone had driven a knife through his heart, the stabbing pains only parralleled by a knife being twisted in the wound. He could hear his own agonized screaming, pleas and begging for help and to make it stop burned and scratched his throat as they spewed from his lips. But nobody came to his assistance.

He could feel his bile rising in his throat as he fought to keep conciousness through the crippling pain all over his body. He tried to hold it back, but he had no choice other than to turn to the side and retch, the acidic fluids feeling like broken glass against his sore throat.

The pain was too much to bear, intense agony felt all over. Gamzee was fighting a losing battle and he knew that. In one last hope that someone might rescue him, he let out a bloodcurdling scream.

Only, the scream resounded as a beast's howl in the night as Gamzee's world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

(*Guys, I really don't want to have to repeat the disclaimer and warning and stuff every chapter, so I'm not going to. It's on the first chapter. That should be enough. This is your last warning. I do not own Homestuck or any of the characters. I am not liable for any injuries sustained whilst reading this. Oh, and I've decided against most of the old-timey talk. Some people don't understand it very well. Now go have fun. }:O) *)

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The air was stale and sour, carrying the scent of straw and animal waste. Gamzee was exhausted, his whole body ached and his head throbbed when he tried to remember where he was. He opened his eyes warily, the light that was barely there filtered through cracks in the roof above his still body.

Groaning as he struggled to sit up, Gamzee's body was sore from struggle. He winced as his back popped in several places, his limbs feeling heavy and awkwardly stiff. Gamzee's throat burned, his tongue dry and feeling rough against the roof of his mouth.

He peered around the room, searching for any signs of life. The only thing that was still moving in the room was a slight drip in the corner,_ plip. plip. plip._

Feeling extremely parched, Gamzee stumbled towards the small puddle on numb feet, the crunch of dried straw and of dirt under his feet mixed with the rhythmic dripping of the water. He bent down on all fours as he reached the puddle, scooping up the sweet water and gulping as much down as he could manage in one swallow. His thirst being quenched, he peered into the puddle with curiosity at the boy he saw.

His eyes were tired looking and slightly swollen and bruised. The boy's face and sloppy hair were caked with mud and- '_oh, dear_,' Gamzee thought. There, caked even more so than the dirt, was dried and crusting blood, atempting to flake off in chunks. Gamzee brought his hand up to touch his face. The boy in the puddle mimicked him.

'_That boy is me, isn't he?_ ' Gamzee thought to himself. "Good God!" he whispered, trying to smear the grime from his person.

"Oh, so it's awake?" a voice hummed in the quiet. Gamzee wasn't entirely sure why his heart beat so fast with fear, but his whole body becamse tense with the anticipation that something bad should happen. Slowly, Gamzee turned with his eyes squeezed shut so tightly that it hurt. Opening his eyes, he let out a surprised yelp.

Within inches of him stood a tall and slender man, dressed in long black robes that seemed fit for some sort of dark preist. His head was wrapped in a loose hood, mostly concealing his face in shadow. A few strands of long, raven hair tumbled out of his hood and pooled around his shoulders like liquid obsidian.

When the man stepped back slightly, he let his face become illuminated by the dim light filtering in. He had a face that might have once been handsome, but one that was now covered in blisters. Most of the ill sores were closed and seeming much more mild than the ones that were openly festering with visible puss. Gamzee fought the urge to gag, afraid that if he did, he might be harmed.

"Your name is Gamzee Makara, correct?" the man asked in a voice that was like satin. Gamzee nodded, unable to choke out a single syllable. "Well, Gamzee, it is your lucky night. Are you ready for your revenge?" the man asked, the pure malice in his voice being masked like a mace cought in silk. "Y-yes, sir." was Gamzee's reply, stuttering and uncertain.

"Take him. We must leave for the Makara household at once, lest the rising of the moon be missed." the blistered man said, his robes puffing out as he spun on his heels and brisquely exited the shack.

Guards appeared at Gamzee's sides, pulling his hands out parallel to the ground before clamping heavy iron shackles around his wrists. "Do not resist. You know not what you've agreed to." The guard to his right whispered in his ear, almost sounding sorry. To finalize their preperations, they tied an old sack over Gamzee's head so he couldn't see a thing.

They guided the confused and afraid Gamzee down winding mountain roads, braving confrontation with any vicious twilight predators. Gamzee's bare feet scraped against the dirt and rocks, sending them skittering off, and after a long, tense walk, Gamzee found himself being shoved up onto a tall horse, bent over and strapped on like a prisoner.

The horse's flank was soft, but it didn't break the impact of each tread as the horse galloped off. They rode far, from what Gamzee could feel; down and out of the mountains and through the forest, slowing as they skirted the edge of the villiage.

Before entering the villiage, however, they dragged Gamzee off of the horse and pulled the sack off of his head. "Prepare yourself, Gamzee. You are to have your revenge." the blistered man said, a frightening grin spread wickedly across his face. "But-" he intejected. "There is a price to pay. You will work for us after you take it." he hummed, letting his sick pleasure show in his voice. "Do not try and resist; refrain from any debate. The moment you agreed to get your revenge, you were bound to us" he continued with his head held high. "Welcome to the Dark Brotherhood, Gamzee" he finished as they shoved his head down and tossed him back on a horse.

Gamzee wondered how he could have been so stupid as to agree to this. What was he going to do to his father? And how was the Dark Brotherhood going to make him useful? Would they use him as a slave? A messenger boy? Something far worse? There wasn't time enough for such questions, for soon they had arrived at his house.

He was yanked off the horse once again, thrown down into the dirt. "Get up and prepare yourself. The sun is almost all the way down." The man hummed, opening the front door.

Gamzee was pulled into the house by the chains hooked to his shackles. His heart thudded loudly in his ears, his stomach naucious with sickening dread. "Mister Makara. Come out. We have your son. You know you must come out and face us."

There was shuffling, sounds of discontent and probably drunken grumbles interrupting the tense silence. "Whad'ya want?" Gamzee's father mumbled with slurred speech. "Mister Makara, consider this your very lucky day. You get to be the first man Gamzee can test his new little skill on. Guards, rid us of the roof. We need the moonlight." the blistered man instructed, waving off a few guards at hand that weren't busy holding the other ends of Gamzee's chains.

In a few minutes, the thachet roof had been cleared, every last straw piled behind the house to be burned later. By the time they were finished, the sun had just sank below the horizon, leaving in it's place a pregnant moon.

Gamzee's gaze was captured by the moon, not able to tear his eyes away from it. "Yes, Gamzee. Let it come. Obey the urges, everything will go smoother that way." the blistered man hummed as the guards dropped the chains frightfully and backed awqy to stand behind him

Gamzee felt an odd sensation begin to well up within him, a tingling of every nerve in his body. It was almost as if the air itself had shifted, leaving behind something thick and hard to breathe. Gamzee gasped, a sharp stabbing pain growing at the base of his back. It felt as if there were thousands of needles under every inch of his skin, pushing and shoving to get out. He cried out in agony as a throbbing in his head began, a stange hum ringing in his ears. He tried to scream, he tried to pry away the shackles that had become too tight, but long claws got in the way and his voice had somehow been replaced by agonized howls.

Slowly, the pain began to subside, allowing him to actually focus on what was happening to his body. He stared down at what would have been his hands- if he'd had any. In their place were large, clawed paws, covered in tufty, grey fur. Soon it became uncomfortable to stand straight, Gamzee's back feeling as if it were bent awkwardly. He bent down on all fours like a beast, ghastly snarls and growls emerging from his newly formed snout.

Gamzee was frightened by his new form, but his father was far worse. When Gamzee gazed up, his father was cowering against the wall, trembling with fear. Suddenly, gazing upon his father, Gamzee's heart was filled with such remourse. The Dark Brotherhood had brought him here with every intent of having him to kill his father for revenge. Gamzee loved his father very much, despite the pain he had put him through, and he would never dream of actually harming his father. But the Brotherhood wouldn't stand for this.

"Stop hesitating. Gamzee Makara, I order you to kill the man you see in front of you.'' the blistered man said in a stern voice.

And then it was like Gamzee wasn't even in controll of himself any longer. His body moved on it's own and he couldn't will himself to stop as he advanced on his father. His teeth were bared in a snarl so frightening, his fathers heart pounded in his throat. Gamzee tried his hardest to resist, but no matter how hard he fought, he could hold back.

It was only when his father's cold body lay on the hard ground that he regained his humanity. He stared in horror at what he had done. His father's body lay face down on the ground, deep crimpson blood glistening against his skin. Deep gashes ran along his body, his neck bent at a gruesome angle. Tears streamed down Gamzee's face as his human form returned, feeling sick at what crime he had just commited. His emotional pain far overlapped the physical pain of his form correcting itself, sending him into inner turmoil. Gamzee swooned at the sight of so much blood, such a violent destruction that he himself had just done.

"Very good job, Gamzee." the blistered man commented.

With one rough pat on the back, Gamzee went toppling over into the sick darkness that throbbed behind his eyes and skirted the edges of his vision. His concious form left him feeling dead in his emptied mind.


	3. Chapter 3

"Haha! And the way that last one's head was bent? How disgusting, but how intruiging!" one of the guards snickered from outside of Gamzee's cage.

It had been three weeks since he had been taken by the Dark Brotherhood. Three. Whole. Weeks. And it had also been three weeks since...

Gamzee couldn't even think about it. If he did, images of his father, laying dead under his claws, would always roam his mind. He was sick with himself for being able to do something like that, to have the ability to kill his own father. And every time he thought of how much he missed his father, the memories started flowing through him. He would always remember the time his father had celebrated his birthing day with him. His father had brought sweet pastries home from the market in the middle of town; their sticky center tasted of strawberries, Gamzee's favorite. Gamzee had laughed and smiled as his father lifted him to sit on his knee, telling him wonderous tales of when he used to work as a knight under the King himself!

Gamzee was so distraught, tears silently rolling down his cheeks as he forced the bittersweet memories from his mind. But the cool, calming blankness disn't last long, as his head filled up with memories of his more recent killings.

The Dark Brotherhood had put him to work right after his father's death. They would fill rooms with frightened, crying people, many couldn't have been much older than Gamzee himself. They would shove Gamzee in along with them, having him masquerade as if he were just like them, frightened and desperate for escape. But once the moon came up, Gamzee's orders took controll as his beast form emerged. He could never hold himself back, his body massacred of it's own accord, hunting down every last creature in the room and eliminating it.

The Brotherhood had been oh, so proud. They told him he was a very good boy for doing as he was told. But they treated Gamzee like the beast he had become. The guards never spoke to him, they would poke fun and laugh, but when Gamzee tried to talk with them, they only looked at him as if he was a dumb animal. That's all he was to them. Some dumb beast-thing; fun to manipulate and hilarious to taunt. Nobody ever gave him a second thought. The often took turns assaulting him as the blistered man, as Gamzee had never learned his name, watched with amusement.

"Hey! Get your dumb arse over here. Look, boy, we got food for ya!" one of the guards laughed with a snicker, waving around a chunk of soggy bread. Gamzee wanted to ignore the guard's taunting, he wanted to resist proving himself stupid, but his stomach growled in protest. They hadn't fed him anything since yesterday morning, and transforming did have it's exhausting effects. The torch light flickered against the guards' faces, both carrying michevious expressions.

Gamzee inched foreward carefully, extending his hand to the guard with caution. "I can't reach you inside the cage. You'll have to reach out if you want the food, mutt." the guard insulted, a taunting smirk spreading on his lips as the other guard smiled with anticipation. Gamzee knew it meant trouble, but he was so very hungry. So he took a deep breath throught the nose and thrust his arm through the bars on his cage.

The guard looked down at his extended arm, scars from struggle marring the pale skin, before raising an eyebrow at the other guard. With a hostile laugh, the guard brough his smoldering torch down onto Gamzee's skin. A scream exited Gamzee's mouth that could be heard all the way down the halls as he yanked his hand back into the cage. Gamzee refused to shed a single tear of pain for the Guards as they laughed. He cradled the burnt hand to his chest, bringing his mouth down to lick at it without thinking.

"Here, beast." the guard said with a humored voice, tossing the bread at Gamzee's feet. Gamzee growled at the guard, baring his sharply mutated teeth. The guards flinched, startled and begining to grow a bit afraid. He could hear their heart rated accelerate slightly, his senses bettered by the beast inside him. Gamzee let a smug smile fit perfectly onto his lips as he plopped down to devour the bread.

Maybe if the guards were afraid of him, he might get something acomplished around here.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I hope you guys realize that I'm going for the whole Sobor Gamzee thing here. You'll juat have to see what happens later, but dor right now, it's just Insane Gam. And dearest Gamzee, I'M SORRY TT~TT

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His claws swung with power that crushed skulls as he brought it down on another prisoner. With precise, practiced skill, he slit the man's throat and dashed to deal with the others quickly.

Do as you're told and don't speak unless Lord English has given you permission. Those were the two simplest rules. Rules he could surely follow if it would make his life here run smoother. Not that he personally needed to disobey either of the two. If he didn't follow orders of his own will, his body would follow through with the commands on it's own. No point in struggling, for either way the job got done. He might as well do it himself with quick precision instead of have his clumbsy body do it with such a mess to clean up afterwards.

_Gamzee whispered a silent sorry to the corpse, giving her forehead a light kiss before dropping it off to the side. He quickly raced off for his hated home before his human form could return._

And as for the speaking, well, turns out he didn't have much of a problem with that either. Conversation was such a human thing, it had become so foreign to Gamzee. He rarely communicated, and even then it was only through a series of grunts, growls, or snarls. He had found out that he had no issues with communicating his sinister intent through menacing sounds that beats would typically make.

_Gamzee entered his newest living quarters._

It certainly helped with the guards and even a few of the higher ups. He had eventually somehow managed to bully them into giving him an almost proper room. It was out in another sort of shack, but this one was put together properly, unlike the first crumbling ruins of one. It had chipped wood walls, reinforced by stone and silver from the outside so he couldn't escape. The roof was still in shambles, cracks of moonlight forcing through in pale ribbons flitting against the darkness of the night. The room held only a small pile of crates, filled with various dried foods he could eat, a tall standing mirror, and a mound of cushions and blankets tucked into a corner where no moonlight shown.

He had sustained almost exactly five months in that hell hole of a group, his skill silently growing and his senses becoming potently sharp. He still had to hunt the Dark Brotherhood's enemies in the night from now and then, but the blistered man, who wished to go by the name of Lord English, had become impressed with Gamzee's growing skill. He had ordered that Gamzee be moved up in rank, to some sort of assasin's weapon. The assasin would give him a distinct mission, which he would have to follow whether it be in his will to do so or not. In Gamzee's eyes, any form of change from mass murduring crowds of people had to be a good one.

_Gamzee awoke from his slumber, the evening light filtering in as he made his way over to stare groggily into the mirror._

Gamzee still suffered from his inner turmoil. The had tortured himself over his father's death every night that he wasn't too exhausted to stay awake. He often stared at himself in the mirror for as long as he could take it, hatred and agony welling up inside him until he couldn't go on. He was even driven himself mad one night, still in wolf-beast form, and ended up raking his own claws against his face in despair. When he had awoken, he only found three parallel scars running across his face, and odd enough, the blood that had dried there had turned an almost purple shade of indigo. He so loved those three little scars. They served as a reminder for the sins that he sincerely regreted.

"Gamzee, we have something very special for you." said Lord English as he shoved past the guards who had opened Gamzee's door. Gamzee was shaken from his thoughts as his gaze with his mirrored self was broken. "Yes?" Gamzee hummed, his voice cracked from under-usage. "Ah-ah-ah! What do you say to me, Gamzee?" Lord English hummed, seeming all to happy. "What services shall be required of me, Master?" Gamzee murmured, the growl in his voice barely audible.

Lord English stalked over to place a hand with long, blackened nails atop Gamzee's head, running his bony fingers through Gamzee's dirtied black locks. "I have a very special assignment for you. It's different from the others, Gamzee. You have proven yourself a trustworthy mutt. I think you're finally up for it." Lord English seemed to purr as he walked around Gamzee so he could squat down right in front of him. He looked Gamzee dead in the eyes, his pale irises shining iredescent in the fading evening light.

"Come with me. You might need special tools for this job." Lord English beckoned, striding away as guards guided Gamzee out of the door.

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"These have been enchanted by the finest of witches, a powerful protection spell that shall cast off not only mages' attacks, but soldiers' weapons as well. You shall become an indestructable maxhine of pure power. Nothing but my orders could contoll you." Lord English said in a pleased tone. The servant finally put on the last of the straps of the magic armor with trembling little fingers, standing back to brush his unruly black hair back and to fix his glasses. "Leave us, John." Lord English commanded.

_John... why do I know that name?_

"Now Gamzee, prepare yourself to recieve orders.." he instructed as he guided Gamzee out into the open air. Gamzee stood, ignoring the pain when he morphed into the beast as the moon began to raise itseld high into orbit. Gamzee shook out his fur, perking up his ears to listen to Lord English.

"Gamzee Makara, I order thee to infultrate the Kingdom of Prospit and assasinate King Nitram in his sleep." Lord English gave a cold laugh as he turned to walk away.

"Oh, and take out the little brat of a prince while you're at it."


	5. Chapter 5

READ THIS UPDATE UP HERE FIRST

Sorry I haven't updated for a while! My tablet has been broken :(

Okay, guys, I just wanted to thank you all for your AMAZING reviews. You don't even understand how much it means! I fangirled when I read them ;U; I just love them and I love you guys so much!

Please continue with your beautiful kindness! And thank you all for even reading this poop story TTUTT You're all too nice!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

GORE IN THIS CHAPTER. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.

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The sun became nigh, nighttime setting in with all the forcefull chill of the moon. Gamzee had been transformed yet again, his inhuman form lithe and agile. He stood atop a great drop-off, glaring at high walls of layered stone. Behind them hid King Nitram's castle, quite large and regal, even for high ruler of all that was Alternia.

Gamzee smiled, or whatever it could have been with the muzzle that now protruded from his face. Tilting his head far back towards the moon, he let out an earsplitting howl that rang through the trees and sent cries out in echoes before leaping down onto the top of the wall.

Shadows flickered against the stone as a guard slept below, hunched and bent against the wall. With silent precision, Gamzee dropped down in front of the oblivious man. He snuck foreward before dragging his claw across the man's neck veins, ending it as quickly and painlessly as he could. 'I'm so sorry.' Gamzee thought as he watch the man wake and paw at his neck as blood seeped from the wound. Gamzee turned and advanced in the opposite direction as the man went limp.

Sure he could handle anything they might have thrown his way, he concentrated on his mission: Assasinate King Nitram and take out the brat as well. With another chilling howl, he clawed open the wooden ornate front doors to the dark and looming castle. He smirked to himself as screams reverberated throughout the entry hall. With a few practiced sweeps, he had every guard wiped to the floor, cold and lifeless.

He stalked on to the throne room, his ears tucked back and his teeth bared in a predatory fashion. The room was surprisingly void of guards. The only thing in the baren room was the throne, with King Nitram poised decoratively in it's seat.

"Who are you and why have you come?" King Nitram called out, his voice low and authoritative. Gamzee just stared deep into the king's eyes, staying silent as he slunk closer to him. Drawing a broadsword with a regal flourish, the king stood in a defensive stance. "Can you not answer me, beast?" King Nitram asked sarcastically, the three odd copperish streaks in his hair flopping about as he waved his sword flashily.

Gamzee was thouroughly sorry for what he had to do, trying to tell the king this with his eyes. But nonetheless, the king stared at him with scorn and disgust. With one last huff of breath, Gamzee decided it was time to end this foolish dallying and kill King Nitram.

In a single bound, Gamzee had the king pinned beneath him, writhing and shouting desperately. Gamzee stared at King Nitram a moment more, a whine escaping his throat as he bowed to touch the king's forehead with the tip of his nose. Then before he could convince himself otherwise, Gamzee reared back and clawed King Nitram's throat.

Gamzee stepped away from the body, coldness and shame rising in his chest at what had to be done. He hadn't remembered much about the king, but he knew how peaceful the kingdom had been under his rule. No one was ever too poor to take care or their family, nobody needed to steal anymore so crimes decreased greatly. The king himself was brave enough to even fight alongside his men in battle. King Rufio Nitram II, truely one of the best kings Gamzee knew of.

A scream interrupted Gamzee from his silent words for the king and bitterness rose within him. It was a boy's scream, coming from a boy who couldn't be much older than him. Gamzee looked up and spotted the flash of royal robes as the boy wearing them dissappears through the corridoor to the right of the throne. Gamzee remembered his obligations to get rid of the prince as well and assumed the boy had been the prince.

With a low growl taking the place of a sigh, Gamzee hurried around the bend and up a long and coiling flight of stairs to catch up with the boy. He skidded loudly to a halt, tearing scrapes in the stone floors as he stopped in front of a tall set of doors at the end of the stairwell. Gamzee huffed, charging straight through the heavy wooden doors and into a big, round room.

He turned in a tight circle, taking in his surroundings. The room seemed to be some sort of bedroom. There were various books scattered and piled by an intricately carved bookshelf that was anything but bare. Next to that was a tall wardrobe, it's dark polished wood clashing with the lkghter colors of the room. To the other side of the wardrobe and bookshelf was a desk, piled high with scrolls of magic and wizardrey. The last peice of furniture, sitting by the desk, was a wide bed, more than big enough to fit three people, draped in orange silk curtains. Gamzee heard a small sniffle coming from behind those very curtains, alerting him of the boy's presence.

He really didn't want to kill the boy. He felt terrible about this whole ordeal, but orders were orders and he had to follow them whether he wanted to or not.

Gamzee lifted a paw adorned with sharp claws to move the curtains aside, cringing when he heard the boy whimper softly. As light was shed on the boys face, Gamzee was taken aback.

The boy had to be at least fourteen, about the same age as Gamzee, but he seemed so much like a small child. His amber eyes were wide and probably one of the most beautiful things Gamzee had seen, despite being tainted with fear. The way he shrunk back when Gamzee eyed him made Gamzee feel absolutely despicable. How could he stand doing this to anyone? The boy was filled with so much innocence and kindness, Gamzee could feel it within his heart that he could not kill the boy.

Now that he thought back at his orders, the blistered man never said to kill him. He simply said to get rid of him, and Gamzee felt like smiling when he figured he could manage this in many ways that wouldn't involve killing him. No, killing the boy was certainly not a thing Gamzee could manage.

Before Gamzee could quite think of something to do, he felt a warmth well recognized shining on his back. Turning, he saw rays of sunlight filtering in through the half-closed window on the far side of the room. Gamzee mentally cursed at himself for forgetting he was limited on time.

He let out a howl as he felt his bones begin to break, snapping out of eachother and moving to find a formation more befitting of a human. Gamzee let out another cry, his human form begining to show through his voice, as his claws sunk back into the fleshy fingers. His fur shed from his skin like an animal that had been diseased, leaving dark fur piles littering the floor. Gamzee sighed as his jaw snapped back into place, the final bone to replace itself, as he turned back to the boy.

"No no no!" Gamzee shouted as he dashed to help the boy, but it was already too late. The boy's eyes rolled back into his head and he let out a slight "heeehhhhhhhh" noise as he fell back against the bed. Gamzee let out a small huff of air as he decided to just take the boy back with him.


	6. Chapter 6

For this chapter I'm really trying to bring out Tavros's compassionate side. Most people misjudge him as a wimp and just some crippled coward. Really, if you'd pay attention to his character, he is truly one of the bravest characters. He is so compassionate and kind to others, never lashing out or showing anger when you just know he must be seething. This is why he is my favorite character in Homestuck.

Happy readings

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Tavros lay there with his eyes closed tight, trying to forget the strange nightmare from the night before. There had been a strange beast that had killed his father then came into his room to transform into a boy to very likely do the same to him. Tavros wasn't really sure when that dream had ended, but at least it had dissolved into a much sweeter dream.

He lay still in his bed, not wanting to open his eyes and ruin that drowsily peaceful state of post-sleep. He sighed, contemplating just going back to sleep so he could keep dreaming. But his mind was quickly changed when he felt something shift in the bed next to him.

Tavros's eyes snapped open wide, revealing a scene that was much less than pleasant. He lay in a bed that was certainly not his, tucked in an alcove of a room that was not his. And when he turned to face the person that lay next to him in bed he froze.

Staring down at the boy from his nightmare last night, Tavros swallowed out of nervousness. He still lay in the bed asleep, curled up next to where Tavros had been a few moments ago. He certainly seemed like a less than happy person to Tavros, his brow furrowed and lips curled into a sorrowful frown.

Curiosity replaced the fear within Tavros. He slowly inched foreward, reaching out cautiously as he neared the boy. Tavros's hand trembled as his fingertips grazed the boy's shoulder. The boy flinched in his sleep, a minute whimper escaping his pressed lips. Tavros was taken aback as he withdrew slightly and he stared down at the boy he had been so afraid of a few minutes ago. Now that he was laying here in front of Tavros he seemed so small and lost and lonely. The boy couldn't have been much older than him and already seemed so broken. He really looked like he needed a friend. Tavros took a deep breath, deciding he would at least hear the boy's side of the story before blaming him completely. He must have had his reasons.

Tavros sat by the boy's now shaking body as the boy let out small crying noises. "Shh, it's alright. I've got you now." Tavros murmured comfortingly. He reached out again and rubbed the boy's back, humming an old tune he remembered his nurse-maid used to sing. He leaned back against the pillows on the bed, letting his eyes fall closed as he continued to hum the lighthearted tune

He opened his eyes when he had finished the song, hoping he had successfully lulled the boy back into a peaceful sleep. Instead, his gaze was met with a burning indigo stare, the very look in the boy's eyes seeming to bore straight into Tavros's soul with a plea of help. His eyes were filled with curiosity and half glazed over with some sort of guilt, but nothing could hide what was under all of it from Tavros's quick intuition. Under the emotions that crossed the boys face lay a hole in his heart, some empty void that seemed to suck the soul from him. Tavros could tell by looking deep into the boy's eyes that he felt empty and depressed.

Tavros could barely tear his eyes away, shuddering as he looked down at his lap. "Uh... hello?" he tried, the word coming out as a question. "Hello." the boy replied. He either didn't notice how Tavros fidgeted nervously under his intense stare, or maybe he just didn't care if Tavros was slightly scared of him. Either way, he stuck his hand under Tavros's downward-turned face, holding it out to shake his hand. "I'm Gamzee." he said. "Tavros Nitram." Tavros replied, gingerly placing his hand in Gamzee's grasp. His hand was easily swallowed by Gamzee's calloused fingers.

Tavros pulled back, looking up at Gamzee through his eyelashes. Gamzee let his face fall into his hands as Tavros got up and walked to stand by a pit that sported burning wood in the middle of the room. He sat on a cushion by the fire, wrapping his arms around himself as if he were trying to hold himself together.

"...look, brother, I am really very sorry." Gamzee called almost silently from where he sat, his voice quivering. Tavros paused a long moment, staring into the fire as it danced and licked at the air with curious tongues. Tavros squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw as he thought of his father. "Why did you do it?" Tavros murmured in a defeated tone. He heard Gamzee stand and move towards him, sitting on a cushion across the fire pit from Tavros."I didn't want to... oh, God, if I could take it back I would." Gamzee sighed.

"Then why did you do it?" Tavros repeated, looking up at Gamzee not with conviction or even anger, but a look of concern. "I have to follow orders whether I want to or not. I can't stop it happening once it's been ordered. My body will act on their accord." Gamzee revealed, meeting Tavros's caring eyes with his. Tavros nodded, accepting this as a perfectly valid answer. After all, what reason would he have for lying to Tavros? He had already succeeded in his mission, hadn't he? Tavros posed to threat to him.

"I am sorry. Y ou can hate me if it would make you feel better." Gamzee broke the stare at this, looking thoughtfully into the darkness behind Tavros. Tavros stood, scooping up the cushion from the floor. He walked around the fire pit to stand next to Gamzee.

Gamzee prepared himself to be hit, to be yelled at, to be able to add another person to the list of people who hated him. But instead, Tavros sat down next to him.

Tavros touched Gamzee's arm, leaning foreward to look straight at Gamzee. "I could never hate you." Tavros declined, staring pointedly. Gamzee raised an eyebrow, confused by Tavros's kindness. After a long silence between the two, Tavros spoke up again.

"You really seem like you need someone. A friend, perhaps?" Tavros pondered, dropping his gaze and pulling back to a normal sitting position. From the corner of his eye, Tavros could see Gamzee nodding his head. "That sounds about right." he confirmed and folded his hands carefully in his lap. "Let me be your friend."

Gamzee froze, disbelief contorting his face. "Really?" he said after a brief, unsure pause. "Of course. Everyone needs someone to be there for them. I'm more than willing to be your friend if you'd be mine." Tavros concluded. Gamzee's lips curled up into a grin as he nodded.

"Of course, brother. Everyone needs a friend."

"I have a feeling we're going to be close."

"We will be the best of friends."


	7. Chapter 7

"What about your mom? Surely she could take over the kingdom for a while until we can figure out what to do." Gamzee theorized, pacing across his new room stifly.

Gamzee and Tavros had been debating on the subject of the kingdom's fate since they woke up that morning. It had been a long and tiring conversation for them both, taking it's toll emotionally. Both boys were long tired of discussing it, but they needed a plan.

"No... my mother died a few years back." Tavros said. Gamzee could tell this subject bothered him by the way his voice tightened up. With a sigh he crossed the room to sit by Tavros on the bed, draping an arm loosely around his tense shoulders. "What was she like? Do you want to talk about it? If not that is alright as well." Gamzee said softly and sympathetically, tightening his hold on Tavros.

"My mom was probably the sweetest lady you'd ever meet." Tavros murmured after a moment, leaning into Gamzee's embrace. "She would always put other people's needs in front of her own, even if she was the queen." Tavros closed his eyes, a bitterweet smile tainting his lips. "She lived just to help people. She was always kind, campassionate, and very loving. One could even say kindness was her weapon. She weilded it with beautiful masterey and nobody could ever defeat her." Tavros let out a breath.

"We were very close back then. We spent our time together, reading in the parlor or gardening. She would take me to the kitchen and we would bake and prepare food with the cooks, raising such a rucus with the staff of how it was against tradition that we be cooking. Mom would just thank the staff for being concerned and continue helping. Every moment we had we spent together. I related to her much more than my strong-willed and short-tempered father. I remember that every night she would tuck me in to bed. You see, I often have terrifying nightmares, but when she would tuck me in to bed at night, she would sit by me in the dim candlelight and stroke my hair until I had fallen asleep. I never had nightmares when she watched over and protected me."

Tears were trailing down Tavros's cheeks, his face a nostalgic mixture of happiness and sadness.

"She was single-handedly the most amazing person I knew. So beautiful with her long, wavy brown hair and orange eyes. She was so perfect. And I love her and miss her so very much." Tavros said, voice thick with tears. Gamzee reached around with his other arm to envelop Tavros in a full embrace. "If you don't mind me asking, how did she pass?" Gamzee asked in a saddened voice.

"It was the year before last, the year when that sickness sweeped through." Tavros began, laying his head against Gamze's shoulder warily. "The one that caused death and affected many with de lusions?" Gamzee inquired. "Yes. That's the one." Tavros confirmed as he made himself comfortable in Gamzee's grasp.

"She had fallen ill to that sickness. I can hardly think about it without feeling sick at the whole sittuation. She was delirious for weeks, walking around the house with half glazed eyes in her white bedgown. She looked unkempt, untidy. My mother suffered from ghastly delusions and we all suffered with her. She would walk the halls late at night, knocking on doors and screaming about some mist that she clamed had followed her from the darkness. She would come to my door and cry and plead at me to let her in. When I did it only got worse. She would stare at me like I was some apparition before her. And that's what I was. She would throw things at me, pinch me and prod me, all the while rambling about how I must be a ghost because she remembered that I was never born." Tavros explained.

"Tavros, I'm so sorry..." Gamzee whispered, leaning his own head against Tavros's. "In the end it wasn't even the sickness that took her. She ended up killing herself. I was there when it happened. I was walking in the courtyard when I heard a scream. I looked up barely in time to watch her leap from the southern tower."

By the time Tavros was through he was sobbing, leaning into Gamzee's touch. "It's alright, I'm here." Gamzee murmured against Tavros's hair as he pulled him against his chest.

Gamzee pressed his cheek against the crown of Tavros's head, holding him tightly. Tavros sobbed delicately against Gamzee, his body shaking as he wrapped his arms around Gamzee's waist fixedly. Gamzee stroked Tavros's back in tender, calming circles, succeeding in getting Tavros's sobbing to subside.

Once Tavros had realized he had been clinging tightly on to Gamzee, he pulled away and slouched into himself, embarrassed. He felt a light blush creep on to his cheeks and he looked lown at his hands that lay clasped in his lap. "I'm sorry about that." Tavros said quietly after a moment, sighing. "Why should you be sorry, brother? You've done nothing but share your feelings. That's pretty sweet, if you ask me." Gamzee claimed with a pat on Tavros's back. Tavros blinked and turned to stare up at Gamzee in surprise. Nobody had ever really wanted him to share his feelings other than his mother and something about Gamzee just begged Tavros to be honest. Tavros had a feeling deep within his heart that made him know Gamzee would be there for him.

"Thank you, Gamzee."

"Any time."


	8. Chapter 8

Here's a little fluffy chapter to thank everyone for the reviews! They mean the whole world to me and I fangirl so hardcore when I get a new one X) This chapter is pretty short, but hey, it's gonna be fluffy!

Thank you all so much. I've had a wonderful time writing for you guys!

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Tavros lay by the fire, Gamzee in his wolf form supporting his upper body. Tavros and Gamzee were quite warm, even with the cold stone floors beneath them and the air turning cold with the first bite of winter. Gamzee let out a small bark as Tavros squirmed slightly against Gamzee's side, turning so he lay in fetal position against the soft raven fur of Gamzee's side and stomach. "Sorry, I was just getting comfortable." Tavros explained as he nuzzled his face into the fur just above and slightly behind Gamzee's front legs.

"You're really soft." Tavros murmured, stroking the tuft of fur sprouting from Gamzee's chest. Gamzee's thick tail thumped against the stone floor in gratitude. Tavros giggled and Gamzee's ears perked up, turning his head to look at Tavros with bright indigo eyes. Offering Gamzee a warm smile, he reached up to scratch between Gamzee's ears.

"I could lay like this forever." Tavros whispered against Gamzee's fur. "It's really nice." he continued, letting his eyelids fall closed. With the closest to a smile he could manage, Gamzee dipped his head foreward to nudge Tavros's forehead with the tip of his nose.

Tavros's smile slowly faded from his face, an expression filled with peace and tranquility replacing it. By the way his body grew heavier against Gamzee, he knew Tavros had fallen asleep. He tried to smile, but his muzzle wasn't particularly fit for such an action. Instead, he opted for a breathy bark equivalent to a low chuckle.

He waited for a moment to be sure Tavros was completely asleep before he shifted, leaning down to hold the back of Tavros's shirt between his teeth gently. In one swift motion he stood and placed Tavros on his back. Gamzee padded lightly over to their shared bed and stood on Tavros's usual side. He gripped Tavros's shirt in his teeth once again, much like a mother lioness carrying her cubs, and layed him in the bed.

He got into bed next to him, pulling the covers up so they rested below Tavros's chin. Gamzee placed one of his front legs around Tavros protectively before assuring himself it was fine to go to sleep. Taking one last look at Tavros to be sure he was okay, Gamzee closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you guys so much! The reads and reviews mean so much!

P.S. I got some suggestions and requests from people and I will try to encorperate them in future chapters, now that the romance is going to pick up!

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It was early morning when I woke up to the sound of pained groans from beside me in bed. I knew by now, as it had been weeks since I had first been captive here, that this was the sound of Gamzee shifting back into his human form as the sun came up.

To be honest, the whole 'turns into a wolf at night' thing still scared me when I really started to think about it. But being me, I tried to keep my mind on other things. I concentrated on the pure wonder of it all, the sheer magic quality that Gamzee held within himself. Sure, I had practiced wizardry back home. But I had never imagined something this horrifyingly amazing could happen to someone. I had asked Gamzee about how he came to be this way. But he only looked away and said it was a sad tale and would tell me some other time.

Despite only knowing him for a matter of a few months and still being a little nervous around him, it actually pained me to see him so bitter and hurt. From what I could tell, he would be one of the sweetest people in the world if he weren't so full or remorse. I knew how much he regretted killing my father, and apparently any others as well. He reminded me he was sorry almost every day. I told him I forgave him, of course.

But whether I really did or not was another matter entirely. I knew he was forced to by some form of magic order under which he could not dissobey, lest his body's controll be taken from him. And I certainly tried my hardest to forget. But the pain was still there, digging into me like a thorn into my side.

Nonetheless, I managed not to blame him for it. I put my anger off on the Dark Brotherhood, the organization that held us there. I wasn't entirely sure what they did exactly, minus the fact that they used people for their own dark needs. It was them that forced Gamzee's part in my father's death. In all actuality it was them who were to blame. And it is them whom I bestowed my anger.

"Are you awake?" I heard Gamzee call as he shifted to a sitting position in bed. I looked over and hummed, letting him know I was alert.

That was the first time I had actually payed attention to his body. He sat with his back turned to me, slouched in on himself as if he thought he were a disappointment to the world. I stared at his back with my eyes wide, aknowledging one of the worst scars I had seen in my entire life. Even the three parallel scars across his face, the ones that made my heart sink with sorrow, were nothing on comparrison to this ghastly stretch of pale skin. It ran diagonally from his right shoulder blade to his left hip, several tails traveling out to reach other parts of his back. It ran fluidly like a pinkish river of scar tissue, melting into normal skin perfectly.

I winced as a pang of symapthy pain hit me. Slowly, I rose to kneel behind Gamzee on the bed. Taking a shuddering breath tho still myself, I reached out gingerly to touch the scar. Gamzee tensed slightly and I could tell he was contemplating moving away. But he stayed, perched on the edge of the bed, as I spread my hands out flat. I traced my hands over the little trails that split off from the main line.

"What happened to you?"

The way I said it made me wish I could just swallow it back into my mind again. Gamzee froze, even his breathing stopped for a moment. He was a stone beneath my touch. But eventually he took a deep breath, relaxing slightly, and replied. It took me a few seconds to realize he had said " My father often got angry with me."

"What did he do?" I wondered aloud, my voice tight with astonishment. "He got into one of his moods where he's already drunk and he work himself up. This was one of the times I was around for him to take it out on." Gamzee said after a pause, his usually care-free persona had been burnt to ashes. "One of the times?!" I burst, anger welling inside of me.

I wasn't entirely sure why it made me as furious as it had, but I still felt as if a fire burnt within me. I felt like I should hit something or maybe yell, but I kept calm and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes, extinguishing the intense anger.

"It happened often. He was almost always drunk and almost alway unhappy. I'm just glad he disn't take it out on anyone else." Gamzee replied as he turned his head to the side. This reminded me a lot of when I first conciously saw him in his human form. He just seemed to curl into himself, sitting there like a broken clock that needed fixing. One look into his eyes could show you that he was silently suffering, just counting the days until it would all be over. He really needed someone to rely on. And I supposed I was a good enough candidate. I bit my lip, deciding to act before the little voice in my head could remind me that Gamzee was dangerous and I needed to keep my distance.

I wound my arms around his torso, gripping him tightly and pulling myself closer. I buried my face into his back, squeezing him slightly. I felt a blush creep it's way onto my face as I placed a kiss against Gamzee's scar. Gamzee froze a little again and I panicked. "Oh, uh... My mom used to kiss my wounds when I was younger, so... I just though..." I trailed off awkwardly.

Gamzee let out a slight laugh as he turned in my arms, breaking my hold, and patted my head. "Don't be so awkward about it. It was sweet of you." he replied in his normal, nonchalant tone. I breathed a silent sigh of relief and smiled up at him, pulling back a little.

Something about this whole sittuation just seemed different. We were growing closer by the minute and it was slowly getting easier to be less afraid by now. By now it was as if we were the best of friends, but none of that was what felt strange.

It was a soft, fluttering feeling, coming drom deep within my chest. It ran deeper and thicker than anything I had felt before and it kind of scared me to feel this way.

I looked up into Gamzee's eyes and the way his eyes cut into mine was almost as if he could see straight through to my soul. It was chilling yet comforting all the same. His face was covered with concern and it made my stomach do a little flip when he leaned down and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Tavros?" his voice shook me from my thoughts and I looked back at him again. "Yes?" I replied sheepishly. "I asked if you were all right. You were staring pretty intensely." Gamzee recalled, raising his eyebrows at me. "Oh, uh... yes. I'm fine." I confirmed, looking down at my hands that were folded neatly in my lap. I could feel his eyes staring at me interestedly, but he only nodded and pulled away.

I'm not sure why, but I was a little disappointed when he pulled back. I kind of liked him worrying over me. It was different and new from what I was used to. And it felt nice.


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for the long break, guys! I have excuses but I don't wanna take the space to write them. I'll do my best to update frequently, but I'll be fairly busy until summer. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter.

P.S. Big thanks to a few kiddies who have gone out of their way to message me on my tumblr account (where I ultimately waste all my time) to get me back on track. Thanks, my little babbus

Tavros laid his face in the book in front of him, all too aware of the setting sun. The sky was painted all different hues, the dark frame of the window and it's bars contrasting as the light shone against the walls. "Gamzee..." he warned.

"Don't worry, brother. I know." Gamzee answered, taking off his shirt and folding it sloppily. "I'd prefer it if you didn't watch." he continued, taking a deep breath and stepping towards the corner furthest from Tavros.

Tavros nodded, having no problem in this request. Ever since the night he was taken, seeing the transformation in any phase was a sickening sight. He shook his head clear, drawing the curtains on the windows closed tightly. Taking a deep breath to still his shaking hands, he turned his back to Gamzee. Tavros swallowed the lump in his throat, but when he stopped to listem for the sounds of transformation, there was none.

"What...?" he whispered, turning to face Gamzee. There was a moment of dead silence, the air in the room tense. "Gamzee, what's going on?"

Gamzee glanced around the room nervously, pacing the room for a moment. His bare feet slapped against the cold stone of the floor, the fire extinguished and the room dim. Going to the window, Gamzee threw the curtains open, gasping as he saw the moonlight.

And in that moment everything was suspended, Gamzee's indigo eyes wide, his mouth agape. The world seemed frozen for but a moment. Then Gamzee let out a horrible scream, the bones in his back cracking as he began to change once more.

Tavros averted his eyes. Of course Gamzee would change. Why would tonight be any different?

Okay, I know. It's short. But now I have a laptop and I'll be writing inbetween rehearsals and such.

We're starting to build up to the main plot now, can you tell?


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